About Me

Well let me think……. What about me? I am still trying to figure myself out just like everyone who knows me. Perhaps a little bit of history about me. I was born and raised in West Michigan. I grew up in a middleclass neighborhood in a relatively small community just outside of Grand Rapids. I led a pretty normal uneventful life. Went to school, hung out with a few select friends, and was involved in Boy Scouts. I was pretty much a nerd in Jr. High and High School and was treated as such. I never really let it bother me much because I knew that it made the people who chastised me feel better about themselves and always knew that they were small minded people anyway. After I turned 16, I started working at KFC. I worked hard and proved to be a loyal and reliable employee so I worked many hours and was granted a great deal of responsibility. I gave up my friends and Scouts in favor of working and doing my job any covering for those who didn’t do theirs. I realize now that I was foolish to give what little I had for the sake of making other people look good and lining someone’s pockets. I never did achieve the rank of Eagle Scout which is something that I had wanted to do. After high School, I went to Community College and received my degree in Business Administration. I didn’t know where to go from there, so I accepted promotion at KFC. Soon after that, I was promoted to Store Manager and began working in Holland. I was unhappy about my job and working in Holland so I accepted on offer from Arby’s. From what I was told, it was a great company and a great place to work. What actually happened was a different story. Just before the end of training, I was informed that I was going to be working at a 24hr. store. I almost fell over dead. Big surprise, I ended up spending about 2 years on 3 rd shift. I hated that will all my heart and soul and every other fiber in my body. Why I stayed as long as I did, is still a mystery to me. In any case, I was given the option to leave and I accepted it. I went to work at Old Kent Mortgage Company through a temp agency and was hired in full-time. October of that same year, I was laid off. I was devastated and started suffering from panic attacks and the depression that I had all of my life got much worse. On top of all that, I was forced into declaring bankruptcy. I gave up my house and moved in with my parents. As if that was not bad enough, I went back to work for Arby’s. What I found was that Arby’s still sucked, but I stuck it out for about a year and a half before I was given the opportunity to go to work for a small computer store called Digilink. I started at Digilink as a sales person and was soon promoted to manager. Digilink was probably the only job that I have ever really enjoyed. I speak in the past tense because my store is being closed about 2 weeks after I finish writing this. All of my life I have felt great sorrow and have been totally lost. I didn’t know what to do, how to act, and who or what I would become. I still feel lost but I am finally beginning to see that there is some type of path for me. This past October, I finally made the decision to admit to who I was. I decided to “come out of the closet”. Having someone special in my life made me realize just how much I had missed. All of my life, I was pretending to be happy and had almost convinced myself that I was indeed happy being alone. I was never really happy and after many years, I finally had found what I was looking for. Someone that made me feel special and that feeling made me realize that it was finally time to admit who I was. Telling people was not as difficult as I had imagined and I felt as if a great burden had finally been lifted from my shoulders. After so many years of being tortured, I was finally free. The interesting thing is that I never really thought that I cared about what people thought of me. I guess that wasn’t true. I tried living a life that wasn’t really mine to live. I now regret not having come out sooner. My life would have been so much different and probably better. However, I chose my path, and cannot go back. I will go forward though. I am sure that some people will treat me differently, but nothing about me had really changed. I am still the same person that I always was; I am just not going to hide any more. Why should I continue to be miserable? To please other people? Perhaps it is time that I made myself happy rather than trying to please everyone else. Anyone who cannot handle my sexuality can, quite frankly, get bent. I don’t look in your bedroom, so don’t look in mine. Two people, who love each other, should be all that matters. I don’t discriminate against heterosexuals so don’t discriminate against me. If you do, then prepare for the consequences of your ways. I pay the same taxes as you, so I should have the same rights. There are those who believe that it is a choice. How can anyone honestly believe that someone would choose to be harassed and suffer the pain that I have suffered all of my life? There is no logic in the “It’s a choice” argument, but people can believe whatever they wish. The truth is out there, and that truth is that being homosexual is not a choice! Many people will never change their minds about this thing because of their religious beliefs, and will fight the GLBT community to the bitter end. If you think that you are better than us, be prepared because you are no different than us. You eat, sleep, crap, work, feel pain, feel joy, and feel love. Here is a news flash, so do we! How many wars have been fought and are still being fought over religion and peoples differences? Is it really worth it? I don’t think so. Everyone should be equal and given equal rights. People will say that discrimination is wrong, and then say that GLBT people should not have rights. Think about that for a minute and you will see the many flaws in that type of thinking. In any case, for those of you who want a battle, you had better be prepared to fight the best dressed army the world has ever seen. J Well, that’s pretty much me. Accept it, or don’t. That is a choice that you do have to make. I could tell you a great deal more about myself, but I don’t want you to fall asleep. If you do have a question or comment, positive or negative, feel free to click the image below and send me an E-mail.

Eric J Czarnopys

April 3, 2004