What I want and what I deserve out of life

I want to feel love
I want to love someone
I want to be treated with respect
I want honesty, trust and loyalty
I want someone that I can make happy
I want someone that wants to make me happy
I want someone to walk on the beach with
I want someone that enjoys what I do
I want to feel special and make someone feel special
I want to feel alive instead of dead
I want the pain to stop
I want someone to make love to
I want to be with someone who I can hold and who will hold me
I want someone who loves me for who I am inside
I want someone who I can talk to and who can talk to me
I want the feeling that I once felt. Lying next to the person and feel like I had just made love to them even though I hadn’t. Maybe that is simply happiness. I felt the feeling once and I want to feel it again.
I want to feel complete again
I want someone to laugh with and also cry with
I want someone who I can support and who will support me

Maybe I ask too much. I hope not. I felt many of these things once, I don’t know if I will ever feel that way again. I don’t know if I even want to feel it again. I don’t know if I could deal with the pain that goes with it. Right now, I feel so alone, and so scared. I want to feel alive again. Bring me back to life……..